Friday, April 22, 2005

Live Blogging the Theology of the Body v. II

I owe you guys a live blog so consider this a very special Papal Succession edition of the The Theology of the Body. Disclaimer: Please excuse any added vitriol I might have towards the church but I'm still a little pissy about the election of das Popenfuhrer.

Cue the harp music and the warm fuzzy wide angel shots of cherubs. And heeeeeeeeeeeres Father Bob and Housedress Lady.

1:02 OMG Housedress Lady is wearing pants. End of world sure to follow.

1:02 OK..moving right along. Father Bob is talking about Adam and Eve, and how they "loved" each other. Not only did they do it, they "watched themselves love each other". Hmm....the primordial money shot. Nice visual Father Bob.

1:05 Housedress lady has a prop. She's brought something along to help demonstrate, to help illustrate, and to help symbolize the loving view the church has of the body. Yup- she's got herself a knife. I shit you not. She's now waving the knife around to explain that the knife, like the body, has many purposes. She's explaining that the knife can be used in many ways, but some are "good" and some are "bad" as it is with physical love. She's now stabbing the knife towards Father Bob to help demonstrate "bad" loving. Fair point Housedress lady- that knife looks like a pumper to me.

1:10 Father Bob is now comparing the urge to eat potato chips to the urge to rut like a feral animal. I mean, I like chips and everything, but listen Father Bob, if you think THAT'S what you gave up when you put on the collar..........well....whatever gets you through the day I guess.

1:12 Oooh ooh! Here we go with original sin. Adam and Eve ate the apple, "and their eyes were opened and they knew they were naked." So, they basically, they ate the apple and felt a draft.

1:15 After original sin comes the shame. Housedress lady says the shame comes from "loving" in a way that opposes the value system that God put in place. What did Adam break out some nipple clamps or something?

1:18 House dress lady has pulled another prop out of her goodie bag- a busted pair of glasses. I have no idea what she's doing now.

1:19 She just asked Father Bob to kiss her. Shit. This is so totally why women shouldn't be allowed to wear pants.

1:22 Back to the glasses- They are meant to show how after original sin our vision is skewed and if we look at a naked body we only see the "dirty parts". Yeah- a grown woman just said "dirty parts". And it seems that Adam and Eve, once they had their vision skewed, got so embarrassed by this "dirtiness" that they busted out the fig leaves to hide their dirty parts. I wonder when they decided to start decorating them. Maybe on the 12th day Adam created cock rings?

1:25 Father Bob says that once someone accepts Christ as their savior they can "see" correctly again, which apparently makes the dirty parts occasionally look small, hairless and attached to young children.

1:29 Housedress lady is still wearing the busted glasses. Christ, this woman is so uptight she makes Laura Bush look like that Varsity Blues chick in the whipped cream bikini.

Well, these two never fail to be absolutely unintentionally hilarious. I promise to better about sharing this rapture with you. Until next time, be blessed and keep those dirty parts to yourself.
Posted by LMM14_1 :: 9:07 AM :: 1 Comments:

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