Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Introducing everybody's newest, favoritist game-- Justice Watch

Too many people I know are more aware of who the Hilton sisters are fucking than they are of who sits on the highest court in the land. Since the Supreme Court is most likely going to be a major battleground over the next few years, I think we should all pay a little more attention to who & what the hell is going on there. We'll go through all the Justices, one per post, and I promise to try and make it fun. If I can't, then I will at least throw in a masturbation joke or two at the end. OK- let's play.

Name: William Hubbs Rehnquist


Age: 80
Appointed: 12/10/71 by Nixon
Elevated to Chief Justice in 1986 by Reagan
Swings: REALLY fucking conservative
He voted against the expansion of school desegregation plans and the establishment of abortion rights (dissenting in the 1973 case Roe v. Wade), and in favor of school prayer, capital punishment, and states' rights.

Tidbits & Fun Facts

I'm not a racist, I just played one when I was a law clerk.
From 1951-52 Rehnquist clerked for Justice Robert H. Jackson During this time he wrote a memorandum arguing against school desegregation while the court was considering the Brown v. Board of Education case. Rehnquist later claimed that the memo was meant to reflect Jackson's views and not his own.

And you're going to tell me this guy doesn't support gay rights? Methinks thou doth protest too much.
"Rehnquist also created a unique robe for himself as Chief Justice in 1994. It has four golden bars on each sleeve. In the past, Chief Justices had not dressed differently than any of the Associate Justices. Rehnquist robe was modeled after a robe he had seen in a production of Gilbert and Sullivan's operetta Iolanthe. The costume which inspired Chief Justice Rehnquist, an acknowledged Gilbert and Sullivan fan, is worn by the Lord Chancellor, a character called upon to settle a dispute among a colony of fairies." (I shit you not- I lifted this quote verbatim from wikipedia)

Everybody's FREEEEE to FEEL GOOD (Except for, y'know, black people and college kids getting slapped with mandatory minimums)
"Rehnquist has long struggled with back problems, and developed a dependence on the prescription sedative Placidyl to ease his back pain, for which he underwent a drug addiction treatment program at the George Washington University Hospital in the early 1980s."

Why he's important:
Earlier this year Rehnquist was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and it's his failing health that points to him stepping down very early in W's second term. While it's unfortunate for him that he is ill, his resignation and replacement will have very little impact on the court's composition since there will certainly be a conservative for conservative swap.

But there is something in the process that's extremely important and warrents comment: Senate Republicans may try to enact a rules change to disable Democrats' ability to block Supreme Court nominees. It's so nasty politicos call it going nuclear and if the Goopers are able to pull it off there could be pretty dire consequences. Basically it lowers the headcount vote necessary to end a filibuster to 51 senators as opposed to the super majority of 60 needed now. This is pretty dangerous because it would take away what little influence the Democratic minority might have in blocking nominations. So keep your eye on this one.

And now, what I'm sure you've all been waiting for:
Pinocchio had just finished having sex with his girlfriend, and he asked her, "So ... how was I?" She said, "Well, Pinocchio ... I hate to say this, but when we have sex, you give me splinters!" Well, Pinocchio was devastated. He went running to Gepetto, crying, "My girlfriend says that when we have sex, I give her splinters! Is there anything you can do?" Gepetto says, "What you need, my boy, is a piece of sandpaper. Use this once a day, and that'll solve the problem."

About a month later, Gepetto ran into Pinocchio on the street. "How was that sandpaper I gave you?" He asked. "Are you still having problems with the girls?"
"Girls?" Pinocchio asked. "Who needs girls?"
.

hehehe.....stay tuned for Ruth Ginsburg tomorrow...



Posted by LMM14_1 :: 4:53 AM :: 1 Comments:

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