Thursday, October 13, 2005

Mid-Day Report from the Cracker Factory v. IV

I can't decide whether it's sad or just a plain fact of life how much the tone of my day is set by my elevator ride up to the office. There are 25 floors in my elevator bank (48 in the whole building) and I am on the 12th. If I get on the elevator and everyone is going to a floor above mine, that can put me in a pretty good mood. (Pretty good for riding on a chute stuffed with souless corporate whores being shuttled to their desks where they sit like zombies and churn out useless and meaningless work that is absolutely devoid of any real contribution to the world or their fellow man). But God help me if fifteen jackasses all hop on the elevator right as the doors are closing and push for floors 1-11 like little fucking ADD brats who, "just liiiiiiiiike to push the buttons." That'll really fuck my day up.

On a side note: back on horses and shit like that. I have date tomorrow. He is 30, Jewish, works in finance, owns in Manhattan and used to play college basketball (tall, athletic Jewish boys are about as common as Jewish boys who take communion). My mother is going to read this and have a wet dream that will require a cigarette upon completion. I, on the other hand, will most likely hate him. I've always had more of a penchant for the long haired bad boys who could have been taking AP calculus but were too busy cutting school in the parking lot and smoking schwag with their borderline braindead friends. Ah yes, the boys who are, probably, for lack of completed degrees due to aforementioned smoking of schwag in parking lots, old and fat with fifteen kids and a low level coke problem (crappy coke too since they can't afford the disco shit). Yup...my boys. Hopefully I've grown out of this- but probably not.

Besides- this guy is surely a Republican. I had one of those and it took me two years of walking women into abortion clinics to get clean from that. Oh well. Keep your fingers crossed for me because something better work out soon. Remember the mouse I mentioned as my only living companion? Yeah, well it crawled into a hole and fucking died. It's possible that God and I could be at a stalemate but I'm still probably going to side with Nietzsche. Forget about the whirlwind- I'm pretty sure Nietzsche got the last word.

UPDATE: Based on the response of the Mexican construction worker I just encountered on the street perhaps I should wear what I am wearing today on my date. Because hey- nothing says, "you look pretty" like a man moaning, "ummmm mami" while fondling his own crotch. Well, I'll bet he says that to all the girls.....but the genital rubbing- I think that part was just for me. Good times, good times.

Mid-Day Report from the Cracker Factory v. I
Mid-Day Report from the Cracker Factory v. II
Mid-Day Report from the Cracker Factory v. III
Mid-Day Report from the Cracker Factory v. VI
Mid-Dat Report from the Cracker Factory v. V
Posted by LMM14_1 :: 10:00 PM :: 6 Comments:

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