Time To Take The Cyanide Pill
Tuesday, November 30, 2004 Seriously, what kind of fucking idiot does that? UPDATE: Under the bed. Yup. That's right, not only were they under the bed, I must have known they were there and LEFT them. Maybe for the thrill of the chase? Wow- Sometimes it amazes me that I remember to breathe.  
Thursday, November 25, 2004 I seriously hope there were a few Native Americans hanging out at every major metropolitan transportation hub watching this crap, and saying, 'suuuuuuuckkkerrss'."
Wednesday, November 24, 2004 I'm not being an asshole here, it really is more difficult to blog tone than to express it through hard copy written word. Writing, as opposed to blogging, tends to exist in terms of some larger context i.e. a magazine, newspaper, or novel. Even if the inflection doesn't jump off the page, the reader can usually glean meaning from the context. You could find a different meaning from the same sentence depending on whether you read it in Rolling Stone, The New Yorker, The Economist or The Enquirer. Blogging is different because the text seems to appear from nowhere and in context of nothing; it's like little puffs of words that exist in a void. Given that blogging is becoming a wildly popular medium for expression, I wonder if there will be an evolution in the way nuance is communicated. Maybe some sort of technical way to say "haha, just kidding" or some grammatical equivalent to that stupid winking face that people make using punctuation. Or not ;) In the interest of full disclosure: I'm not a writer and I don't play one on TV. I'm also a blogging neophyte, but I've been devouring other people's blogs for about a year and this is something I've been thinking about. I'd love to hear other opinions, unless it's people saying that I'm an idiot. Those people can go fuck themselves (I like to try and work the word fuck into each post at least once). Or maybe, like my friend said, I’m just fucking bitter….
Tuesday, November 23, 2004 The holidays seem like a good time to start, since the forced family time associated with holidays tends to bring deep-seeded angst, anger, and alcoholism bubbling to the surface. And everybody knows there's nothing more entertaining than an angry, angst-ridden alcoholic in the middle of a bender. Speaking of benders and holiday bullshit, I have to go to a wedding this Wednesday. No, this is not a typo. Yes, I do mean that I have to go to a black tie wedding on The Fucking Wednesday Before Thanksgiving. It's a crime against humanity. I mean seriously, who does that? People that obnoxious should be sterilized at the alter. And to add insult to injury, I don't have a date. Because who the fuck wants to go to a black tie wedding on The Fucking Wednesday Before Thanksgiving? You'd think no one- but as it turns out, this is patently untrue. I will be the only single person at this 200 person travesty, the sole exception being a 5'4 podiatrist, who my mother, "just can't wait to introduce me to". I wasn't kidding about that cyanide pill...
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Time To Take The Cyanide Pill 
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