Time To Take The Cyanide Pill
Monday, January 24, 2005 
Maybe you could start with keeping your daughter off her back for at least the first 100 days. Seriously, this chick is one Stoli-o and Sprite away from a night vision sex tape. Oh sweet lord, please, please let it happen before the State of the Union.  
Thursday, January 20, 2005 Well...everybody join hands and prepare to be bathed in the sweet, sweet love of Jesus Christ. Because everybody knows that being cleansed by the blood of the lamb really takes the edge off of US social policy being pushed back an entire fucking generation. Oh well...3 years and 364 days to go.
There's gotta be a joke in here somewhere...
Ain't that a bitch...
Oh..and just FYI- there's a moratorium on my no political postings rule...at least for the next 24 god awful hours...
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Sunday, January 16, 2005 When asked why Osama Bin Laden has not yet been caught, Bush responded simply, "Because he's hiding."
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Monday, January 10, 2005 This one is definitely my favorite: "We say in our country, everybody matters, everybody is precious in the sight of Lee Iacocca". Oct. 31, 2002 
And let us say, "amen".
No. No no no no no. NO.
Where have you gone Howard Dean? The nation turns its lonely eyes to you. ("because you're the best the of the bunch who are running right now" doesn't really fit the tune though, huh?)
Hey you guys....
Thursday, January 06, 2005 Ladies: When sitting on a bible during the afterglow just won't cut it: Planned Parenthood comes to the rescue. Added bonus- a new study says taking emergency contraception won't make you a slut, or, sluttier, should that be the case. Additionally it is estimated that half of the 3.5 million unintended pregnancies that occur each year in the United States could be averted if emergency contraception (EC) were easily accessible and used, according to background information in this article.
Haha you Chisto-crazie fuckwads!
Wednesday, January 05, 2005 And then I opened my eyes to this: I'm a Insignificant Microbe in the TTLB Ecosystem Thanks guys...really. Gee, I hope I don't get voted off the island.
Sunday, January 02, 2005 In the interest of full disclosure: the following is a purely self-indulgent exercise meant more for my own need to record & reflect rather than for the purpose of being an entertaining read. Its kind of like intellectual masturbation, which is, I promise, far less interesting than it sounds. 2004 Personal Year in ReviewStates visited:
USA (so sad) Things I wanted to do in 2004 (and did) Start writing again Clinic work for Planned Parenthood Learn to count cards Get promoted Be able to afford my own apartment in Manhattan Paint said apartment (correctly) Things I wanted to do in 2004 (and did not) Be able to afford my own apartment in Manhattan and not have to use quarters I find under my couch to buy coffee Run a 5K race And the obligatory: Lose 10 pounds and quit smoking Things I want to do in 2005 West Coast trip- Seattle & LA Go somewhere in Europe, just me, a backpack and a camera Learn to play poker well enough to sit at a table in AC and not look like a total jackass Learn Chess Start taking photographs again GET A NEW FUCKING JOB Obliterate credit card debt Run the damn 5K Two words: Savings Account And the obligatory: Lose 10 pounds and quit smoking Things I intend to do in 2005, which I probably will not: Obliteration of credit card debt Learn Chess Lose 5 of those obligatory 10 pounds Biggest loss: dissolution of former co-habitation situation Biggest gain: Doing it now, as opposed to 5 years from now when it would require lawyers Greatest realization: That I am pretty good at my job, trivial as it may be. And, that I am, in spite of its triviality, learning a few things that will allow me to eventually do something of value. Or something even more trivial, but for a lot of fucking money. Worst Realization: That I am finally old enough that certain doors are closed to me, which means there are things I thought Id have or do, that I now know I will not. Most Exciting Moment: Getting kicked out of a Vegas casino for counting cards- kind of like breaking your blackjack cherry. Most Annoying Moment(s): Its a tie between working and listening to my upstairs neighbors fuck. Funniest Moment: Well there was this stripper, a gay bar, and a broom closet....... Most Shameful (but still funny) Moment: Being trapped in 30th Street Station from 3 AM- 5AM, drinking room temperature vodka out of a crushed seltzer bottle and having to fake a twitch every time it looked like a bum was going to come talk to me. 2004 Memorial In honor of my grandmother, Elsie Axler, who believed that you can never be too rich or too thin, but that neither of those things are necessary in order to be fabulous. And she was definitely fabulous.
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Time To Take The Cyanide Pill 
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