Time To Take The Cyanide Pill
Wednesday, March 30, 2005   
Saturday, March 26, 2005 I quit smoking about three weeks ago...actually it'll be a month next Thursday. This is the first time I would prefer the sweet release of death as opposed to fighting the desire for just one deep sweet drag. I can taste it...I can feel it. I'm not going to do it of course, because I'm about as stubborn as I am sarcastic. And for those of you who read regularly, you know, I'm really fucking sarcastic. They say it gets easier. I hope so. I'm already kind of a bitch. I don't need this...or it really will be single serving frozen diet dinners from here until the end of my miserable non-smoking existence. Any and all encouragement is certainly appreciated.
Thursday, March 24, 2005 President Bush signed the bill almost immediately after its passage early Monday, vowing in a statement to "stand on the side of those defending life for all Americans, including those with disabilities." "In cases like this one, where there are serious questions and substantial doubts, our society, our laws and our courts should have a presumption in favor of life," he said. From The Texas Clemency Memos, the Atlantic Monthly, July/August 2003: On the morning of May 6, 1997, Governor George W. Bush signed his name to a confidential three-page memorandum from his legal counsel, Alberto R. Gonzales, and placed a bold black check mark next to a single word: DENY. It was the twenty-ninth time a death-row inmate's plea for clemency had been denied in the twenty-eight months since Bush had been sworn in. In this case Bush's signature led, shortly after 6:00 P.M. on the very same day, to the execution of Terry Washington, a mentally retarded thirty-three-year-old man with the communication skills of a seven-year-old. Law might contradict one Bush signed in Texas WASHINGTON - The federal law that President Bush signed yesterday in an effort to prolong Terri Schiavo's life appears to contradict a right-to-die law he signed as Texas governor, prompting allegations of hypocrisy from congressional Democrats and some bioethicists.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Sunday, March 20, 2005 It's now about 3AM and we are in the bowels of the Tropicana talking to some seriously Jersey-looking security guys. On a positive note, they let me look at the Hooker Book, which is...well...not something I should have to explain. Either way- pretty funny and there was free coffee. I will, though, say that perhaps now is a bad time to not be smoking. (I am three weeks quit- It sucks). Also, I got to watch slow motion security tapes of myself walking out of the car. I couldn't identify the guy who took the car, but I could certainly identify my ass, wiggling away from the soon to be stolen car. Man....if there's ever a sight you DON'T want to behold, it's a black and white slow-mo screen shot of your ass, slowing moving into a restaurant, where you are going to consume a enormous meal. Oh, the shame. But shit happens I guess and I believe that if this is the worst thing that happened to my family in the last 10 years, we are pretty fucking lucky. This is, as Drudge would say, "Developing".
Wednesday, March 16, 2005 Can I call Child Services for this? A New Level of Shame V. I
Monday, March 14, 2005 Unless YOU happen to BE one of those single women standing in front of the frosted over doors glumly deciding which single serving frozen diet dinners you'll be gagging down all week. In that case I suggest the Healthy Choice Country Chicken. It's only 350 calories, comes with a dessert, and goes nicely with about 8 glasses of wine and a valium.
Friday, March 04, 2005 10:12 PM Did you know that they hit a dead Pope on the forehead with a hammer to confirm that he is actually dead before they announce it to the world? I mean, I'm all for what my jackass boss calls a "belt and suspenders approach" but wow- you better hope he's fucking dead before you start with the hammer. 10:15 They're talking about phenomenology now. I am both impressed and disappointed. I though we were talking about sex here? Oh! They're talking about communists now. Can't be long until we get back to the sex..... 10:25 The house dress woman keeps nodding her head and making those "um" type agreeable noises regarding martial chastity. She's now gushing about innocence, blessing, and chastity. Duuude- you know this is a chick who has a big black double sided dildo hidden in her closet, right behind her flowered house dresses and rosary beads. 10:30: Now she's taking about the Holy Spirit and how it just, "you know, mooooves in you". Hehehe...yes, house dress lady, it certainly does. You should try the spin cycle. Editorial note: "Theology and the Body" airs weekly. I will be live blogging each and every episode- partly for fun and partly because I believe that eventually House Dress lady will snap and end up bitch slapping Father Bob while performing a strip tease to a dance remix version of Inna Godda Davida. And I really, really want to be a part of that rapture.
Thursday, March 03, 2005 Americans say President Bush does not share the priorities of most of the country on either domestic or foreign issues, are increasingly resistant to his proposal to revamp Social Security and say they are uneasy with Mr. Bush's ability to make the right decisions about the retirement program, according to the latest New York Times/CBS News poll.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005  You could imagine their surprise at waking up one morning to find that they have been made into the national personification of anti-american, soldier-hating, social security hoarding, ass fucking liberals. Well, to be perfectly honest, they probably weren't shocked by the ass fucking liberals part, but the rest of it really is pretty insulting. And the couple clearly agrees. The photo, which is apparently public domain because it was published in their hometown newspaper, has been mis-appropriated by USA Next in a smear campaign against the AARP. The couple's lawyers have issued what looks like a cease and desist letter to the people behind the USA Next ads, which have been used to discredit the AARP's take on social security (a stand which translates roughly into, "Changing social security is bad for older, retired people, and we represent the interests of older, retired people, so we don't support changing social security") by saying that the organization is anti-soldier and pro-gay marriage. Social security, soldiers, and gay sex- what's the common thread here? Besides sounding eerily like a Gannon/Guckert personal ad, the answer is NOTHING. Not surprising coming from the consultants who you might remember from such smear campaigns as The Swift Boat Veterans for Rove. Um, Truth. Swift Boat Veterans for Truth. Right. Sorry. Either way, keep your eyes peeled. I can't wait to see what these pieces of shit try to pull next.
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Time To Take The Cyanide Pill 
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