Time To Take The Cyanide Pill


Monday, June 27, 2005

Overheard....

.....yesterday at the gay pride parade in Manhattan:

"Log Cabin Republicans? Isn't that kind of like being a Jew for Jesus? Like, really, what's the fucking point??"

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Friday, June 24, 2005



Some people never learn.

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Tuesday, June 21, 2005

And a fine welcome home present it is......

Curious to see if anyone is still reading this blog after the extended hiatus, I checked my site meter this morning.

Upon checking said site meter I got a wonderful welcome back present. It turns out that when one does a yahoo search for "pill take lady feel like fucking" that my blog comes up as not just the first suggested site out of 173,000 returns, but also the second.

OH yeah- I'm so totally back. Game on.

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I'm baaaaaaaack. (I think.)

So it's been brought to my attention that I've ignored this space as of late. Well, looking at the date on the last post shows that this is a vast understatement. There's been some speculation amongst people who know me in real life as to the cause of this lapse, and I must say, some of it's pretty insulting.

One friend suggested that perhaps I was cheating on my blog and writing at a new URL anonymously so that I could say what I want without people who know me reading it. Fuck that. Using both correct grammar AND the word fuck as a verb in one space is hard enough. And, as anyone who reads this regularly can tell, I barely have enough funny for one blog let alone two.

Besides, all the people who know me in real life have seen any one (or some unholy combination) of the following things: 1. Me, projectile vomiting 2. Me, naked 3. Me, projectile vomiting while naked. 4. Me, at 4 AM dancing to Whitesnake like I REALLY fucking mean it. 5. Me, tweaked in a desert, parking lot, campground or attic bathroom spouting off about God, OPEC, or the importance of rejuvenating exhausted theological constructs by reinterpreting them sans ontology.

In short- I've got nothing to hide from the people who know me in real life. If you still know me now and don't hate me yet then there is nothing I can say here to change that. (Except maybe the ontology stuff- sorry about all that. I was a pretentious little fuck in college.)

The other conjecture as to why I've stopped writing is truly insulting. It's been said that perhaps I've been distracted by a boy. Ew. First, boys have cooties. Second, it's going to take a hell of a lot more than getting laid a few times to sap the vitriol that drives me to vomit my intermost thoughts on the interweb. Nice try though.

That's not to say I haven't been a little happy lately. The job that's been sucking my will to live seems to be going well. Either that or the part of me that was fighting back against my descent into being a total corporate whore has died. The weather's turned warm again and even though New York smells like piss & roasted garbage I'm finding that the sunshine is putting me in a good mood.

Long story short I'm finding that I have less shit to complain about and that seems to be fucking with my blog "voice". No worries though, I'll always find something to bitch about. But until then I swear to god- if any of you who know me in real life see me sigh, giggle or doodle one motherfucking heart on my notebook- please just bitch slap me. 'Cause seriously, I'm almost getting on my own fucking nerves.

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